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Rasa Baltė Balčiūnienė

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According to a recent Gallup survey, 80% of employees who received meaningful feedback in the last week report being much more engaged at work. The key word in this study is "meaningful": not all performance discussions are equally effective. For example, only 14% of people in an organisation say they are encouraged and inspired to improve after annual performance reviews. Most would prefer more frequent and less formal feedback.

At this time, we often talk about growth mindsets, growth delegation, and I invite you to explore what feedback is growth and how to achieve it. Based on my many years of experience in working with organisations, I would call it a process, a conversation, that is necessary for managers to constructively discuss with people in the organisation the errors in their thinking (when reality and perception are not matching each other) and to make the necessary changes.

It's all about an equal relationship

A Gallup study found that employees want much more frequent feedback than just annual feedback, but it's not the quantity that matters, but the quality. Feedback needs to be reciprocal, so both manager and employee need to feel that they are on an equal footing and that they are talking human-to-human without being identified with the roles of the organisation. Only then will the conversation have a psychological quality.

The leader must create the best possible conditions for a lively conversation to take place. This is not easy, but today's companies are looking for solutions. For example, they are choosing less formal, austere, more aesthetic spaces that encourage relaxation.

However, if people are unable to be on an equal footing, if they are playing power games, if they are falling into victim-hangman-rescuer or parent-child roles, if they are imposing their own positions and simply lacking psychological maturity, then, unfortunately, it is impossible to have a nurturing feedback.

Often, being part of a system, in this case an organisation, and imagining our managers as more 'valuable' people, smarter, etc., will not allow us to have an equal relationship.

In such cases, I would call performance appraisal conversations formal, flawed or simply empty. How to recognise them? They can be difficult to express honestly what we think, or what behaviour we would like to see on both sides, and the expectations are often unrealistic. The best feedback conversations are simply interesting for both parties, flow freely and do not have a rigid structure (this does not mean, of course, that there are no clear questions or topics to discuss).

Expressions of flawed conversations

 A common expression of flawed conversations is when a manager subconsciously believes that, just because of his or her position, he or she knows better how things should be in the organisation, what is right and what is wrong. This projection can also be true from the point of view of the person in the organisation, who feels that he or she has a much deeper understanding of the field, so that the manager is simply unable to say anything of importance. In other words, people are not meeting for feedback, but subconsciously wanting to show their relevance.

Another common case is when an employee comes to a manager for feedback, and the manager feels the impulse to educate, instruct and advise. It is important to emphasise here that feedback is nurturing when valuable insights are not imposed from the outside, but arise from within: the person, with the help of the other, is able to see for himself what he does not see, and to discover ways in which things can be different, better.

Conversations are not for celebrating results

I would distinguish feedback from celebrating great results. A nurturing conversation must first of all show what is not working. I would suggest dividing the performance discussion into two parts: first, to celebrate what went well and to give an indication of where the employee's greatest potential lies (often people do not even appreciate or notice the tasks and jobs where they are strongest), and second, to look for errors in thinking in unison and to name them.

When is the best time to meet for a feedback interview? When we feel that the motivation is gone, when the desired result is not there.  Before arranging the meeting, it should be clarified whether the feedback conversation is needed because the employee/manager is just hoping to "vent" his/her thoughts and emotions, or whether he/she is really looking for a solution.

At this time, we often talk about a growth mindset, a growing delegation, and I invite you to explore what kind of feedback is growing, and how to achieve it. Based on my many years of experience in working with organisations, I would call growth feedback the process, the conversation that is needed to enable managers to constructively discuss, together with the people in the organisation, the errors in thinking (where the reality and the perception of the reality are not matching with each other), and to make the necessary changes.

Commentary by Rasa Baltė Balčiūnienė, Business psychologist